I am Sorry

“I am sorry.”
“I am sorry, wait, I mean okay…why?”
“Because they will never know, and who cares?”
“Who cares? I do. I mean shouldn’t I care?”
“About what people think?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s what I mean.”
“People don’t give a s*#t; people are busy living their own lives. They don’t need the interior self pitying monologue. Get on with it.”
“But, I haven’t written anything in forever. What if it’s bad? I wanted to apologize ahead of time and tell them I haven’t exercised the muscle in a while and that I hope to get better and to stick with me. I want them to like me. I have always wanted that. It is my problem. It is why I over compensate, interrupt, have to be right, try to fix everything. You know that.”
“You are pathetic.”
“I cannot help that. I just want to be free.”
“You should have thought of that long ago. You know you need to let go and stop worrying about others.”
“You are right, I am sorry.”
“Dude, you did again.”
“I did what?”
“Said sorry. WTF?”
“Oh. I didn’t even realize. It’s like the kids today and “like”; it drives me crazy. Like is like cockroaches.” Even I am infested.
“It will be okay you know whatever happens.”
“I am afraid. You won’t leave me will you?”
“No such luck. Wait, are you crying?”
“F*&k off, you are really pathetic.”

 Sorry Soup

  • Get 20 chicken feet (any local Chinatown will do)
  • 1 Chicken carcass from a roasted chicken
  • 20 chicken gizzards (optional)
  • 2 Onions
  • 1 medium carrot
  • 1 stalk celery
  • ½ cup good rice wine
  • 3 pieces of ginger coarsely sliced
  • 5 cloves garlic (peeled and cut in half)
  • 1 star anise
  • 3 TBS neutral vegetable oil (safflower; grape seed; etc.)

 Blanch the chicken feet (and gizzards if you decided to use them) in cold water; once the water boils remove from heat and rinse under cold water. Scrub them and chop off the toenails with a knife, scissors or cleaver. Chop up the chicken carcass. Rinse vegetables.  Coarsely chop the vegetables in a large brunoise (big squares/cubes).  Heat a heavy bottomed pot and add the vegetable oil AFTER the pot is hot. Add vegetables ginger and spices and sweat for 5 minutes over a medium heat. DO NOT LET THEM COLOR. Add chicken feet and carcass. Sautee for 3 minutes more. Cover with cold water. A half gallon or so should do it. Bring to a boil and then turn the flame down to simmer for 2 hours. Do not stir, but skim the surface for impurities and fats often. After 2 hours you can then strain the stock into another pot through a cheese cloth. Press the solids to get all the juices out. You can even let it sit for a few hours while gravity helps you out. You will get an extra ¾ to 1 cup by doing this. Once you have gotten all of the juices out, remove the chicken feet and set aside for another recipe (salted black bean and honey glaze for example). You can refrigerate and let it cool overnight. The broth will become gelatin and the fats will rise to the top. Skim the fat with a spoon or some of it if you choose. Fat holds a lt of flavor, and of course, fat.

Add the rice wine and gently simmer the broth and reduce by half; salt and pepper to taste. If you really need to say you are sorry or are feeling very sorry for yourself, then reduce by two thirds and drink in little demitasse cups. A salted and toasted Triscuit ® will go very nicely or if you are feeling adventurous, poach an egg and put it in.

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One Response to I am Sorry

  1. Eda says:

    Don’t get discouraged, sweet cheeks. It’s lonely out here in the blog-o-sphere. Your inner voice is right–nobody gives a s*#t. You have to do it for yourself.

    And yes, you are pathetic, but I love you anyway.

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